This is your life. Do what you love.

Dining at restaurants and eating succulent food that was mouth watering, and drinking finest champagnes and wines, was beyond what I needed or expected to experience. All of a sudden I could afford to live out my wildest dreams, even though in reality they were not so big in comparison to many others.

The people around me were all fascinating. It was like living out a movie scene where people were fabulous, smart, wealthy and fun. There was lots of laughter and parties full of equally phenomenal beautiful people. I really loved my life. I couldn't get enough of it. No matter whether I had a hard day at work, it never affected my ability to see my glass brimming over the edges.

On top of that, my business was growing and people I use to read about in business were ringing me up and asking me to come in for a chat. Little old me. The girl that grew up in the country was receiving invitation left, right and centre to all the right places, parties and events.

It doesn't get much better than that.

Fast forward 15 years, and I beg to differ. That world was interesting because it was new. Buying designer clothes was fun, just because I could. Meeting people that I held in high esteem always ensured that I would walk away with the biggest smile possible on my face. But that was then, and now... I see it differently. "The new girl is always prettier than the girl you took to the dance" and so I was the new girl in town. I couldn't begin to tell you how many bunches of flowers I would receive from men every day, some of who I may only have said "hello" to. It became so much that I use to give the flowers away to the men in the office to take home to their wives and girlfriends because I didn't know what to do with them. There is only so much you can put in your house.

But 15 years on, I realise the difference between being a shiny new toy, and people wanting to know who you are. They always asked so many questions and I was eager to answer, not realising the true art of a conversation is to be the person who asks the questions, and doesn't answer any themselves. This art form is a talent, and always leaves the person you are talking to wanting more.

The friends were people I still have in my life today, and I adore. I thank them for showing me a new world, far more sophisticated than where I came from.

Today I look at life differently. I realise how comfortable I am in my own skin. What value I bring to the table and why I don't need to go to every party, event or social setting. A night in is a treat and a pleasure, and my own company is by far the best company I can ever have. Sitting in silence, reading a book by a fire is pure bliss. 

Building my business now is much more strategic and less hit and miss. I understand people better and ensure that my values are never compromised by the people that I surround myself with.

I love life, just differently. In a calmer way with more purpose and resolution. I don't need to buy another dress or go to expensive restaurants. Instead, I wear what makes me comfortable and I eat at restaurants where I love the service and the food.

I don't have missing out syndrome, which means I mostly say no to parties, weddings and birthdays. There are other ways to celebrate people in more intimate settings. 

I constantly put myself out of my comfort zone, even when it scares the hell out of me. What this teaches me is invaluable to life, and ensures that I stay interested.

There is no right way to live life, and no narrative that you have to follow just because someone before you has said that that's how life should be lives. We are whole beings and complex by nature, and the fluff around us does not make our world better, nor do the geisha's. Substance over all else is important  and loving something whether it's a person, dog or just life, is imperative to living each day.